Are you a deployed parent feeling concerned about missing your child’s first day of school? Are you a grandparent or aunt or uncle living across the country or across the globe wanting to provide some extra support and enthusiasm for a new school year?
Don’t fret! With a little creativity there are plenty of ways to support kids as they head back to school, even if you can’t be there in person.
Get Them Excited About a New School Year
There can be a lot of emotions, both positive and negative, about resuming the school routine for both children and their caregivers. As a long-distance family member, you can help keep the focus on the positives. Do you have any fun memories from your school days you can share? Kids love hearing personal stories that deepen their connections and spark their imaginations about a time when those they love were their age.
If the child is feeling down about resuming long school days, tests and homework, try reminding them about other fun aspects of the school year routine. Are there after-school clubs or sports that will also be resuming come fall? Have they missed getting to see certain friends over the summer?
In preparation for the school year, parents need to purchase a lot of new items – from backpacks to school supplies to new clothes. Ask parents if there is something you can help supply and mail a care package with a mix of needed items and fun surprises or treats.
Ask Specific Questions to Show Your Interest
When talking on the phone or a video call about school, avoid the dreaded “How was your day?” and its likely reply of “fine” or “good.” Try asking more specific questions that show you know them personally and have listened to details of past conversations. Not sure where to start? Try this list of better questions to ask kids about their day.
Keep questions and conversations age appropriate. Don’t expect preschoolers to be able to tell you as much about their school experience as grade schoolers. For little ones, try gathering some specifics from in-person caregivers of things they have learned or worked on that day or week. Use those to lead the conversation and provide detailed reminders that might stimulate the conversation.
If kids are slow or hesitant to open up, try talking about your day or your childhood school experience first before asking questions. This may naturally get them to open up and not feel like they are on the hot seat. Talk about things you are worried or excited about in your life and then gently ask how they are feeling about the start of a new school year.
Celebrate Milestones “Together”
After long summer days of relaxing at home or having free time at camp, spending those first few days back in the structured environment of school can be physically and emotionally draining for everyone. If you can’t be there to pick them up from school after the first day, you can still find a way to celebrate together!
Mail a “You made it through first week of school” celebration package with some non-school-related items to remind them that fun isn’t just limited to summer days. Include things like coloring books, bubbles, games, stickers – whatever they are into doing in their free time.
After a long week, a pizza night would be a great treat for both kids and parents. Mail a sweet note and gift card for pizza delivery or their favorite restaurant. Want to celebrate together virtually? How about an after-school ice-cream date on a video call where everyone grabs their favorite treat and enjoys it together.
By providing a supportive and understanding environment, even from a distance, you can help kids overcome their fears and ease back into the school year with confidence and excitement!